hire this man
FAILED GOLDEN RINGS ON A GREASY FINGERS
01.05.14
the funny thing about dril posts is that they actually do have a structure to them– they hit a kind of conceptual caesura halfway through, a point where there’s no inevitable logical connection between what’s been said and what’s still to come. here, the first sentence didn’t need to result in the second, yet it’s not “lol random” either; the speaker is angry about his boss’ draconian ferret-kissing policy, and reacts in kind, and even the reference to a “screen saver” reminds us that we’re in an office. it’s a narrative progression that, despite having an internal logic, alienates its punchline from its setup. who the hell is this person?
one thing i love about @dril posts is how they all seem to take place in a universe that is somewhat like our own, but with the habitus of white middle america taken to a bizarre, absurd, but strangely logical conclusion. take this one, for instance:
so we have our setting: a security guard protecting the american flag in the betsy ross museum, something almost archetypically american and middle class. but once again the first part, or setup, for the punchline, “fucking the flag,” careens the joke into an alien punchline that still, given the setting, makes sense. @dril’s security guard character imitates a sort-of cop-talk, the banter of a security guard, “buddy, they wont even let me fuck it”. you can imagine a similar response from a guard at any museum, but we’re talking about Fucking the American Flag, here.
i really love @dril.
it’s astonishing that a human being thinks of those posts. some person, someone out there whose existence we have to infer, because all we know is that those posts occur and they must be coming from somewhere. “the @dril tweeter” resonates as “the beowulf poet” does, except beowulf (which i’ve only read in translation, so i’m not an authority) has never made any use of the english language as baffling and sublime and somehow primally interlaced with the stuff of human consciousness as “IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL.”
This is my favorite post, I am so glad I found it again.
Jim
laurinah: a tale
bro i love sports and women. i got to like 8th base with this hot babe “8th base whats that” she took me to the house she grew up in and showed me pictures of her dead relatives. We sat in the living room and she told me the stories of her life that lead to that moment. Like quicksand they, and that moment were gone and we left back into the cold world which we’d been spat into. It was raining
So as I was falling asleep last night I decided I needed to actually figure out Photoshop. And behold within 5 minutes of looking to the solutions to my stop hangups with it, this stupid program is finally starting to make sense.
*hears intro to Sugar We’re Going Down* … *runs into room* AM I MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET *kicks wall* I’VE BEEN DYING TO TELL YOU ANYTHING *punches chair* YOU WANNA HEAR *throws table* COS THAT’S JUST WHO I AM THIS WEEK
the sky on the subway tonight
a ferocious beast
i will reblog these everytime i see them because she is just such a precious little ball of predatory fury
terrible infamous Makara boys with a dad from Jordan and a mom whose family came up from the south during the civil war and they speak sign language and Arabic and English over great big huge homemade meals and their dad paints and Kurloz plays cello and Gamzee fills huge sketchbooks full of drawings and none of them have done any jail time since Gamzee was born and his mom died, because he’s the baby of the family and they want him never to have to deal with that shit.
don’t get me wrong I love domestic Makara strife a lot but super-tight-knit weird-and-infamous-but-happy Makaras.
also white-ink tattoos on dark skin—on a scale from 1 to 10, YES.
For everyone who wasn’t Homestuck on 10/25/11,
Here’s a wonderful and accurate representation of that night.
