friend: how are things
me: please don’t make me think about my life

jeez i would love to order that thing online, but i don’t know what size to order it in because women’s clothing sizes are determined by the alignments of the planets in relation to the fuck you galaxy 

When friend is clearly upset but they don’t wanna talk about it but you wanna help but don’t know how and you just kinda

Well you see he was so shocked to see john

then he’s super shocked that terezi has now figured him out

and she then ties him up and he’s just stuck there with that face frozen

well if you didn’t know there is a breed of goat that when scared or shocked its body locks up and it’s stuck now this is what’s happening to gamzee

me: [facedown on the floor] listen everything is totally fine

When you fuck something up first thing in the morning

me: wow i rlly like this celebrity

tumblr: 

me: fuck

Things that need to stop: autism only being represented as white eight-year old boys who know a lot about trains and airplanes.

person: why are you staying up so late when you know you have to be up early the next morning?

me:

do you ever spill something and literally just let it sit for a few hours cause youve lost all will to give a shit

I hope you all find someone who never stops wanting to get to know you